Praying is not to inform God that we want something (badly), but to surrender to Him that I can not struggle with my own strength anymore, and I want to HEAR His voice.
That's the time I quiet down my heart together with my anxiety/excitement, and try my best to listen to the smallest voice.
Today, I prayed. Miracle didn't happen and I didn't get the answer straight away. Yet, I felt that I received enough peace for today. And, I kind of feel the lesson I receive now fits my 'age'.
I need to pray more.
Showing posts with label adulthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adulthood. Show all posts
Friday, April 05, 2013
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
十年....
10 years ago today, I landed in Heathrow airport, with one 30kg suitcase and two dictionary in my pockets (to reduce the weight of my luggage!). I can still remember the first time seeing people adding milk into their tea, even sugar! I can remeber vividly the long queue I had to go through for the extra check for international students. I can remember the white horse on green pasture when taxi driving on motorway. I can remember the moment I saw the red buildings on campus when we got off A3, I fell in love with Guildford and this country.
In the past 10 years, I accummulated more and more 'stuff'. My belongings expanded from the single luggage to a wardrobe, to a room, to a car, even to a flat! I am soooooo thankful for everything that came to me in this country. I accummulated so much memories. I have visited most of the places where I read about in my childhood, places I dreamed of visiting. When I was 10, I wrote on my history textbook (in Chinese of course)---I want to visit British Museum one day! Words can not express sense of my excitement/fulfillment when I stepped into British Museum the first time! I still feel that whenever I visit that Museum.
Besides material stuff, travelling experience and memories, I met soooooo many wonderful wonderful people. My classmates in Surrey, my ever so supportive tutor (who gave me reference 7 years after I left uni.), every landlords, colleagues in the hospital & CRC, friends in Guildford and beyond. My life is completed by everyone's input in my life. I know I tend to be close with different people but it must be God He gave me friendship as a special gift. I would never exchange it with anything else.
The past 10 years gave me many lessons too. I am unfortunately/fortunately molded into someone I didn't prepare to be. I remember in September 2003, I went on a trip to Scotland with friends. One asked me 'what's your ultimate goal?' I said 'to be a housewife!' :-) Many years later, I still think of it when I walked on the street in South Kensington after my job interview! God had different plans.... and it is actually not bad at all!!
Mother Teresa said 'Life is a dream, fulfill it'. I strongly feel this is so true. I had so many dreams and it is a wonderful feeling to see them fulfilled at different stage of life. Writing them down is like keeping a suvenir to remind myself to be thankful for what I have now. 'Remember, you only had 1 suitcase and many dreams 10 years ago.'
Yes, I am very very thankful!
In the past 10 years, I accummulated more and more 'stuff'. My belongings expanded from the single luggage to a wardrobe, to a room, to a car, even to a flat! I am soooooo thankful for everything that came to me in this country. I accummulated so much memories. I have visited most of the places where I read about in my childhood, places I dreamed of visiting. When I was 10, I wrote on my history textbook (in Chinese of course)---I want to visit British Museum one day! Words can not express sense of my excitement/fulfillment when I stepped into British Museum the first time! I still feel that whenever I visit that Museum.
Besides material stuff, travelling experience and memories, I met soooooo many wonderful wonderful people. My classmates in Surrey, my ever so supportive tutor (who gave me reference 7 years after I left uni.), every landlords, colleagues in the hospital & CRC, friends in Guildford and beyond. My life is completed by everyone's input in my life. I know I tend to be close with different people but it must be God He gave me friendship as a special gift. I would never exchange it with anything else.
The past 10 years gave me many lessons too. I am unfortunately/fortunately molded into someone I didn't prepare to be. I remember in September 2003, I went on a trip to Scotland with friends. One asked me 'what's your ultimate goal?' I said 'to be a housewife!' :-) Many years later, I still think of it when I walked on the street in South Kensington after my job interview! God had different plans.... and it is actually not bad at all!!
Mother Teresa said 'Life is a dream, fulfill it'. I strongly feel this is so true. I had so many dreams and it is a wonderful feeling to see them fulfilled at different stage of life. Writing them down is like keeping a suvenir to remind myself to be thankful for what I have now. 'Remember, you only had 1 suitcase and many dreams 10 years ago.'
Yes, I am very very thankful!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
My bucket list
这几天每天都在思考自己的Bucket List。
当然，我身体健康（感谢神！），真的对于这个List没有具体的时间安排。不过，想到自己如果明年能够离开英国，那么在这次的Departure之前，我想做些什么呢。
其实，如果我们知道要离开世界，我们自然就会对这有限的生命倍感珍惜和感恩。如果我们知道自己所拥有的来之不易，而且不是永远与我们在一起，我们就会更加爱护。现在，很多父母已经知道孩子们不会永远属于自己了，所以他们特别与孩子多花时间在一起。
同样，对于现在我们所拥有的朋友，时间，工作，机会，都是不会永远长存的，我们应该珍惜，甚至应该列一个清单，我们要如此这般珍惜我们的朋友，时间，工作，机会。 更加重要的是，看着这张单子不能改变我们的生命，要去努力实现才能使其对我们的生活有意义。
记得刚到英国的时候，我说自己的愿望是，
1，有一张属于自己的信用卡。
2，有一个自己的永久地址。 （至少可以在填表格的时候用）
当然，这两个愿望都实现了。 现在看起来很简单的事情，在自己没有得到的时候，特别羡慕。
几年前，我辞职去旅行，当时很想和当年的室友们再一起生活一段时间。感谢神，我都见到她们，她们也都开心地招待我，让我重温了很多幸福的时光。
现在，我的愿望是什么呢，如果我列一个清单，可能每天这个单子都在增加。上帝要给我多些时间去实现上面的愿望。
1，会讲日语，（正在学习），然后去日本旅行居住3个月。
2，学弹钢琴，可以自娱自乐。（不要放弃）
3，离开英国。从头开始。
4，明白神究竟是要给我一个伴侣，还是要一个人过。（这事要看神）
5，如果第4条实现前项选择，就去巴黎。
6，无论第4条结果如何，都去看看夏威夷，看看那所孙中山和奥巴马所读的中学。
7，找到一份有意义的工作，愿意去做十年的工作。（目前的难题）
....待续
当然，我身体健康（感谢神！），真的对于这个List没有具体的时间安排。不过，想到自己如果明年能够离开英国，那么在这次的Departure之前，我想做些什么呢。
其实，如果我们知道要离开世界，我们自然就会对这有限的生命倍感珍惜和感恩。如果我们知道自己所拥有的来之不易，而且不是永远与我们在一起，我们就会更加爱护。现在，很多父母已经知道孩子们不会永远属于自己了，所以他们特别与孩子多花时间在一起。
同样，对于现在我们所拥有的朋友，时间，工作，机会，都是不会永远长存的，我们应该珍惜，甚至应该列一个清单，我们要如此这般珍惜我们的朋友，时间，工作，机会。 更加重要的是，看着这张单子不能改变我们的生命，要去努力实现才能使其对我们的生活有意义。
记得刚到英国的时候，我说自己的愿望是，
1，有一张属于自己的信用卡。
2，有一个自己的永久地址。 （至少可以在填表格的时候用）
当然，这两个愿望都实现了。 现在看起来很简单的事情，在自己没有得到的时候，特别羡慕。
几年前，我辞职去旅行，当时很想和当年的室友们再一起生活一段时间。感谢神，我都见到她们，她们也都开心地招待我，让我重温了很多幸福的时光。
现在，我的愿望是什么呢，如果我列一个清单，可能每天这个单子都在增加。上帝要给我多些时间去实现上面的愿望。
1，会讲日语，（正在学习），然后去日本旅行居住3个月。
2，学弹钢琴，可以自娱自乐。（不要放弃）
3，离开英国。从头开始。
4，明白神究竟是要给我一个伴侣，还是要一个人过。（这事要看神）
5，如果第4条实现前项选择，就去巴黎。
6，无论第4条结果如何，都去看看夏威夷，看看那所孙中山和奥巴马所读的中学。
7，找到一份有意义的工作，愿意去做十年的工作。（目前的难题）
....待续
Friday, February 25, 2011
something about adulthood
Maybe people call it 'maturity' but I like it to be 'adulthood'.
It seems quite clear that people do not enter adulthood when they turn into certain age. Only when they behave differently, they realised the new epic in life have begun.
I never understood people's passion for gardenning until this spring, when I found myself keep changing pots for my few plants. Those plants were bulbs or seeds to start with, then they had sprouts, then leaves, then I found one very little purple flower bud on one of them!!! I was amazed, just as when I saw the first green leave coming out of the seeding box.
On that day, I transferred my small plants to medium size pots, then medium plants to the garden. Also, I bought two roses from Poundland getting ready for the garden fence to blossom.
Is it because of the sunshine in the spring? Is it because the beauty of the flower bud? Maybe it is because I was touched by the fact that life came from nothing then grow from very tiny bit to beautiful flowers.
Isn't this the beauty of life? That's why people love children because we can see the same life process in them better. That's why people love pets and everything has life in them.
I didn't understand before....
It seems quite clear that people do not enter adulthood when they turn into certain age. Only when they behave differently, they realised the new epic in life have begun.
I never understood people's passion for gardenning until this spring, when I found myself keep changing pots for my few plants. Those plants were bulbs or seeds to start with, then they had sprouts, then leaves, then I found one very little purple flower bud on one of them!!! I was amazed, just as when I saw the first green leave coming out of the seeding box.
On that day, I transferred my small plants to medium size pots, then medium plants to the garden. Also, I bought two roses from Poundland getting ready for the garden fence to blossom.
Is it because of the sunshine in the spring? Is it because the beauty of the flower bud? Maybe it is because I was touched by the fact that life came from nothing then grow from very tiny bit to beautiful flowers.
Isn't this the beauty of life? That's why people love children because we can see the same life process in them better. That's why people love pets and everything has life in them.
I didn't understand before....
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